Hello Wrinkles, Goodbye Comfort
Trying to not get too comfortable now that I'm finally comfortably old
By Britta
A few weeks ago I had a Birthday. Not a birthday, a Birthday. As in, I've transformed, and am no longer Young. I'm now of the demographic reliably relegated to supporting cast members in romantic comedies not directed by Nancy Myers. Because the lives of Old people aren't interesting.
I was laying on my bed thinking how uninteresting my Old Person life was, and realized the problem was stagnation. We Old people aren't interesting because, after the torture of our teen years and the angst of our 20's and the reinventing of our 30's, we've gotten comfortable. Which sounds like a good thing, but it can also breed laziness, because you're now close enough to death to see changing things as too much work. Like pairing my phone with the cryptic bluetooth setup in our Sienna; I've finally decided that it's easier to just wait until I get a new car. I'm finding it's also easy, when looking at my personal foibles, to embrace just waiting for the next version of existence. Which made me a tad depressed.
And that's when I got The Worst Idea I've Ever Had.
What if I made a list of 40 (arbitrary number) things outside of my comfort zone and forced myself to do all of them within the next year to ensure that I, like a shark or people who are not me going out in the snow, keep on moving instead of stalling out and just waiting for death? Wouldn't that be so great? And such a growth opportunity? Wouldn't that be a better way to celebrate than a block party or a girls' trip to Cabo? Because it would be meaningful and life changing in the way a block party wouldn't? Like, not a list of new, fun things I want to learn and try, but things I’m not doing just because there are some mental walls I’ve put up and brushing up against them feels like scratching a rash with a brillo pad, and then I could do ALL of them? And I could post the list online somewhere so people could hold me accountable to it and it would just be the best idea ever?
Well, here you go. My 40 (arbitrary number) things outside my comfort zone I have to do this year. During this stupid, uncomfortable year when I could have been in Cabo.
talk to the neighbor next door about maintenance of our shared hedge
call for tech support at work instead of sending an email
submit a piece of non-scientific writing for non-scientific publication
wear a bikini at the beach
take a spin class
ask my contractor to honestly tell me how much our construction project will actually cost
take an in-person music lesson
post a selfie on Instagram
arrange for my family to do a service project face-to-face with other people, instead of just donating money online
politely express dissatisfaction with a service or product that is inadequate and ask for it to be fixed
wear bright lipstick
get “involved” at my kids’ school
talk back to an authority figure
ask a question/make a comment in a meeting with >20 people in it
let a cosmetics consultant give me information and purchase something based on their recommendations
wear a tight shirt that alludes to just how many C-sections I’ve had
do the new part of my job that involves me talking sternly to more senior people to compel them to actually do their jobs
talk to some of the other parents waiting to pick up their kids from kindergarten
go in the ocean when the water is <66 degrees
cross a fence or barrier where i'm not supposed to go
cook a new type of meat
ride a very big, steep roller coaster
communicate verbally and directly with my husband about matters of marital intimacy
Introduce myself to someone at church over the age of 60
buy sunglasses that cost more than $30
Ask for more a better office at work. And possibly more money.
Have people come over when my house is messy
ask for a discount on a purchase
read a news story from an opposing political perspective and sincerely consider their points
watch a horror movie with clowns in it
sing or play an instrument in front of people
attend a different religious service
go to a place where people mostly speak a different language, and ask for help
do something social with people from work - besides the one person I'm friends with
tell 3 people about the 3 most embarrassing things I've ever done
join in a pickup game with people I don't know
get a cosmetic surgery consultation
set up meetings (not emails) with NIH officials to discuss grants that didn't get funded and how I can make them better
Apply and interview for a different job, just to see what happens
Share this list with other people
By this time next year, I will either be a confident, self-assured mother/boss/employee/wife with great nails, shades, and chin, or a hollow shell of a woman with a few new acquaintances who've seen my dark, messy soul and living room. Time will tell.
One down, 39 to go...